Tommy Lee Jones

Oh, speaking of Boss, Trent was lucky enough to catch one of Tommy Lee Jones's commercials on one of the last nights we were in Japan. Here are some of the better ones.

Kihei Resort

So here are some pictures of the place I'm living in now. It's pretty damn nice, and it's going to be a bummer when I have to move out.




Oh, and milk really is about 8 bucks a gallon. $7.69 yesterday, to be exact.

Tsukiji Fish Market

These pictures were taken at the largest wholesale fish market in the world.

Sonpo 24

Here's some commercials we've been seeing on Japanese TV.

Alcohol is a Universal Language

What do people in Tokyo like?

They like Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Johnny Depp.

Japanese People Love Steve

The picture above was taken outside the Imperial Palace.


This guy noticed something out of the ordinary.


This woman informed us that she had a baby inside her.

Boss

Suntory BOSS is the boss of them all since 1992.

I wonder if they refer to him as Boss when he comes to Japan.

Ohio State 2 - Michigan 0

This first picture I took from inside my mom's car. You'll want to zoom in on the van on the right and look in the bottom right corner of the rear window.


This fellow we met in the Hard Rock Cafe gift shop in Ueno.

So Far, So Good

Having arrived at our hotel, and after some small troubles, checked in, it was time for Trent and me to find a place to eat. We decided to wonder around the area until we found something suitable.

These kind folks took a great interest in Fetal Steve. Using my limited japanese, I explained to them what he was, then asked for a good place to eat.


They took us to this restaurant where we had udon. It was delicious.



We met this friendly gentleman in the restaurant. He liked Steve... a lot.

We Care You

Dominick should understand this one.

Fetal Steve Goes to Detroit

Detroit has a much larger airport than I had initially realized. Airports of this size are always dealing with getting people from place to place quickly and efficiently, utilizing trams, moving walkways, escalators, and everything else. Never before, though, had I seen a magic tunnel. That’s right—a magic tunnel! The walls flash different lights while odd music plays in the background. Everyone knows that no one can hear you scream in space, but if sound could travel in space, I’m pretty sure the tunnel sounds just like what space would sound like.

Fetal Steve and the X-Ray Machine

June 11, 2007 10:03 AM

So. Fetal Steve’s journey to the other side of the world has begun. Putting Steve through security brought about a familiar scene, and one that we probably have not seen the last of. This happened in arch in St. Louis when I was with Trent and his friends. This time, all my items came out of the x-ray checker thingy except for Mr. Copernicus. I watched as a crowd of officials gathered around the monitor until finally someone brought him (in his case) to me, and said, “we’re going to need to look at this.”

I consented and when they opened up the case they saw what could not have been much different than what they saw on the screen, aside from some sunglasses and a tie, I guess. One man asked me what I’m doing with it, and when I explained it to him he said something to the effect of, “Wow, that sounds like something they’d do on Something Awful.”

Goon Power!

Check out: Fetal Steve and Something Awful

The Pod Chair / The Swair

So my roommate Zachary and I, along with the help of our good friend Ian, invented a suspended chair. Although I've termed it "Pod Chair," Zac insists that it be called "Swair." Regardless of the name, it has the effect of making its user very... content.

Life Sucks

Life sucks. As my eyes stare idly through the TV, the walls creep closer and closer. Simon, from American Idol is yelling some nasty comment, but my mind is reluctant to indulge and interpret his words. Microscopic particles float through the air from the hamburger patty cooking in the kitchen, find their way to my nose, and cause nerves to fire. But the smell is getting weaker.

Before long the singing and applauding and rambling from the TV has become mere noise—noise that now makes as much sense to me as chopsticks to C-3PO. My eyes see only a collection of pixels: nothing more than a 2-d array of varying electrical impulses from the rods and cones on my retina. Smell, taste, and touch have all been forgotten.

Outside world forgotten, my mind begins to wind itself inward. It starts with the most recent memories, the most vivid images. I taste the cheesecake I had had for dinner. Its texture is thick, and smooth, and the strawberry topping interact with my tongue in some way that results in a serotonin burst somewhere in my head.

I remember speaking with Elle on my way back from class. I see us talking to each other, and I hear us speaking, but the words don’t make any sense. Elle looks behind her, I see myself glance down at her breasts and quickly back to her face as she turns her head back around.

Now I’m graduating from high school. Next I’ve just started high school. I just had my first kiss, my first hamburger. I’m a child now, and I’m crying because I spilled my Kool-aid all over myself.

My mother holds me, now. I’m just a baby. I’m thinking about how nice it feels to be in her arms, and how her body’s warmth flows through me. I just don’t know the language to tell her how much I love her.

By the time my memories have been exhausted, my mind has already begun to tumble down a slippery slope. For the moment, I’ve caught myself on a ledge. Behind and above me lies my life, and beyond that I can see the vague details of the future. Before me is a steep drop, the bottom of which is out of sight. I take one last look back and step off.

I realize now, when it is too late, that I’ve left behind the real world. I’m falling away from American Idol, from my room. I’ll never smell the burgers burning on the stove, or feel the heat from the flames as they consume me with the rest of my possessions.

For ages, I fall through darkness. Is this the darkness before I was born, I wonder.

Finally, far below, a glowing ball of light appears, flickering in brightness. As years and years pass, the ball slowly grows larger and larger. After a millennium I start to see that it’s not a ball, and after another thousand years I can see that it’s a series of millions of nodes, firing balls of electricity from one to another. I’m falling towards a super computer no smaller than Manhattan, and when I finally arrive my descent slows and I land on one of the nodes. When I touch it though, it’s ambient light dims and goes out. The death spreads rapidly until what was once a glorious ball of light becomes a system of dead masses.

I’m dead now, I know, so I leap from the dead mass beneath me and fall away, off into the darkness.

Goodbye Car

... See you in Maui.

Cromartie High School

This blog is now officially about me going to Japan. To kick things off, here's one of my favorite anime's that I discovered last year.

There's no point in our talking to you if you don't have a cool name like Fireball Junior Number 2.

"Best News Narration Ever"

Thanks for this, Ian.

Casa de Secretos I

Zac and I have lived here at Casa de Secretos for a good 7 months, and what a house it has been. Dom agrees that what we've achieved with this house far exceeds prior ventures (although those certainly were worthwhile endeavors). Now that we're moving out, I felt the need to preserve some of the essence in a multi-part virtual tour of a house that will not likely be surpassed in greatness. So buckle up and get ready for the time of your life, because here we go!


This is Casa de Secretos. Notice the man behind the pillar. His name is Dominick and that symbol he's making with his hand is the shocker. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the shocker, Dom is using two fingers, index and middle, for manipulating a woman's vagina while using a single finger, the pinky, to manipulate her anus. Notice that the ring finger is folded down to avoid taint-puncture.


While there are two front doors, 135 is the true door that leads to the heart of Casa de Secretos. Let's go inside...




This is our living room, filled with our nice things. Zac and I try to keep it messy-looking so the hobo's don't know we have nice things, but in actuality all of our things are nice. Tune in next time to hear about them!

Witness

Never have I been more proud to be a Cavs fan. I truly feel that I'm witnessing history.

It didn't matter who the Pistons tried on him. He manhandled Chauncey Billups, powered through Tayshaun Prince, ran by Richard Hamilton and broke Jason Maxiell's ankles. He left the entire Detroit roster pointing at each other, arguing with each other, wondering just how the hell one guy was in the process of scoring 25 in a row on them.

Story