Van de Graff Renovator

The other students pointed towards her with her long hair. "Her hair will be awesome," they said.

"All right, all right," she laughed and parted through the crowd. She stepped up onto the rubber matts and put her hand on the cold, metallic sphere.

"You ready," the professor asked.

"Hit me!" she said.

The professor flipped the switch and a low hum buzzed from the machine. Slowly but surely her hair began to levitate into what I can only describe as the weirdest afro anyone had ever seen.

Meanwhile, all I could do was stare at her cleavage so readily exposed by her low cut V-neck.

And then she looked at me with disgust and asked, "Is it standing up down there?"

IT WAS!!!

Van de Graff Generator

The other students pointed towards me with my long hair. "His hair will be awesome," they said.

"All right, all right," I laughed and parted through the crowd. I stepped up onto the rubber matts and put my hand on the cold, metallic sphere.

"You ready," the professor asked.

"Hit me!" I said.

The professor flipped the switch and a low hum buzzed from the machine. Slowly but surely my hair began to levitate into what I can only imagine was the weirdest afro anyone had ever seen.

And then one of the students asked, "Is it standing up down there, too?"

IT WAS!!!

The Magic Entity

The Magic Entity is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It is all and nothing, and yet somehow, each and everything in between. The Magic Entity can see through walls, through worlds, and through you. When The Magic Entity sees something it may like what it sees, but it really doesn't care. The Magic Entity cares about the outcome of sports, but not enough to buy a jersey.

When The Magic Entity smiles, The World smiles back. When The Magic Entity frowns, The World burns and life is extinguished.

Harriet Tubman

As she was leading a group of men through the underground railroad, one of them asked, "May I touch your breasticles?"

She replied, ""Hell no, you can't touch my breasticles!"

Experiment 1.1

This is experiment 1, conducted by Doctor Hoover L. Rogers.

Two subjects were found at Almoria Park, downtown. The time of capture was around 10:30 pm EST, well after park closing hours (8:00 pm). The subjects, one male and one female, were holding hands and talking when we found them. They were subdued by swift, humane blows to the cranium, and promptly transported to the testing room in our laboratory where they were to be held.

The male was a 5’11’’ Caucasian, approximately 160 pounds, with light brown hair and brown eyes. An examination of his photo ID reveal his age to be 25. For our purposes, we will call him John.

The female, also Caucasian, stood 5’7’’ tall, weighed 145 pounds, with blond hair and green eyes. Her ID indicated that she was 23 years of age. We will call her Jane.

Further examination of possessions and clothing seem to indicate they are both of upper-middle class descent. A list of these possessions is available upon request.

Rap Cat

Thanks to Mike T for sending this to me.

Funky Sea, Funky Dew

One of my regrets is that I'll never see Michael Brecker perform live.